StripperBotConvos

Draw At Me

6:18:04 PM: null null: hey!
6:48:06 PM: null null: hello?
6:48:37 PM: NeonBodoe: oh wow
6:48:38 PM: NeonBodoe: hey
6:48:39 PM: NeonBodoe: sorry
6:48:43 PM: NeonBodoe: missed you there
6:48:50 PM: NeonBodoe: null null, that’s a sexy name.
6:48:57 PM: NeonBodoe: but i’m sure you get that all the time
6:49:03 PM: null null: Hey whats up. 23 femaIe here. You?
6:49:27 PM: NeonBodoe: wait, there’s 23 females? on this one IM?
6:49:28 PM: NeonBodoe: amazing
6:49:31 PM: NeonBodoe: hi girls!
6:49:34 PM: null null: Hmmm. Have we taIked before?
6:50:19 PM: NeonBodoe: hmmm indeed. maybe in the Judy Blume forums?
6:50:20 PM: NeonBodoe:  judy.blu.me
6:50:29 PM: null null: Oh ok. Sorry I wasnt sure. Anyways… Whats up?
6:50:48 PM: NeonBodoe: that was just a joke
6:50:52 PM: NeonBodoe: she never blew me
6:50:57 PM: NeonBodoe: i think she’s dead or something
6:50:59 PM: null null: Im Iike sooo bored. There is nothing to do.
6:51:13 PM: null null: Ohhh wait! I have GREAT idea. Have you ever watched a sexy girI Iike me strip Iive on a cam before?
6:51:32 PM: NeonBodoe: or at least really old. nothing to do? have you ever played this game Draw Something? it’s totally addictive
6:51:38 PM: NeonBodoe: gimme your facebook name
6:51:41 PM: null null: WeII…. WouId you Iike to watch me strip?
6:51:46 PM: NeonBodoe: and i’ll draw pictures of like Eminem for you
6:51:53 PM: NeonBodoe: no, no, it’s a game, not a comic strip
6:51:53 PM: null null: No sorry not on here
6:52:05 PM: NeonBodoe: it’s an iphone app
6:52:08 PM: NeonBodoe: but there’s an ipad one
6:52:08 PM: NeonBodoe: too
6:52:11 PM: NeonBodoe: but i count that as cheating
6:52:11 PM: null null: Ok weII my cam is Iinked through this website so I cant be recorded so you wiII have to sign up there
6:52:19 PM: null null: But dont worry it onIy takes a minute and it is free. kk?
6:52:21 PM: NeonBodoe: cause it’s so much bigger and easier…that’s what she said! oh!
6:52:33 PM: null null: http://REDACTED Mmk go there then cIick on the goId Join Free button at the top
6:52:34 PM: NeonBodoe: yeah, i already have the free version
6:52:39 PM: null null: Ok?
6:52:50 PM: NeonBodoe: wait, seriously, what’s your user name?
6:53:00 PM: NeonBodoe: i just unlocked this whole new color pallete
6:53:05 PM: NeonBodoe: it’s like pastels or some shit
6:53:08 PM: null null: AIso it wiII ask for a credit card when you sign up but its just to keep the kids out. It dosent charge the card.
6:53:42 PM: NeonBodoe: well good, because i don’t believe in them
6:53:48 PM: NeonBodoe: i favor a barter-based economy
6:54:00 PM: null null: I do have some toys i can pIay with but you wiII have to tip me some goId or join me in private to see those
6:54:13 PM: NeonBodoe: ohhhh, the gold standard
6:54:14 PM: NeonBodoe: i see
6:54:23 PM: NeonBodoe: you’re like a federalist. respect.
6:54:24 PM: null null: Iets taIk on that site babe my messenger is messing up. Ok?
6:54:52 PM: NeonBodoe: just download the app, ok?
6:54:55 PM: NeonBodoe: neonbodoe
6:54:57 PM: NeonBodoe: is the name
6:54:59 PM: NeonBodoe: draw at me
6:55:09 PM: NeonBodoe: i’ll warn you, i’m mad good
6:55:41 PM: NeonBodoe: i’ve had a guy who draws caricatures down at the shore compliment my work

He Drives Dune Buggies

Special guest post! The stripper bots found out about my sex-crazed buddy Dave Blend. His bots make way more small talk than mine. I’m kinda jealous.

9:10: angelxjenxo: heyyy
9:10: Dave Blend: holla
9:11: daisy oneill: heyoo… wanna chat wiht a pissed off single girl?
9:11: Dave Blend: not really
9:11: Dave Blend: your im name just switched
9:11: Dave Blend: from angel to daisy
9:11: daisy oneill: im sure it seems random but this asshole i was dating cheated on me and i’ve been lookin to have as much fun as i can
9:11: daisy oneill: i got ure name from lifestream……..u are?
9:11: Dave Blend: it seems schizophrenic
9:11: Dave Blend: not technically
9:11: Dave Blend: but in the common usage of that term
9:11: daisy oneill: ahh so where u from?? i’m sittin here bored as hell which can sometimes not be such a good thing
9:12: Dave Blend: i’m from a place where we just toss around the term schizophrenic like we’re psychiatrists or something
9:12: daisy oneill: i just been lookin at guys pics on this new dating site i signed up to…….do u have any pics?
9:12: Dave Blend: i hope that’s not offensive. to real doctors i mean.
9:12: Dave Blend: guitar pics?
9:12: daisy oneill: i have sum dirty pics i just uploaded to my new profile to piss my ex-off wanna see?
9:13: Dave Blend: oh
9:13: Dave Blend: dirty pics.
9:13: daisy oneill: kk here let me know what u think http://REDACTED u might have to make an account to see them i’m not sure but it only takes a second to and it’s all free
9:13: Dave Blend: i have pictures where i’m dirty. like, real dirt. you’d like them. i race dune buggies.
9:13: daisy oneill: its basically like the facebook of dating sites… i found like 5 people that i know tha tlive around me on here lol
9:13: Dave Blend: it will probably take you longer than a second.
9:13: Dave Blend: people are really starting to get tired of facebook though.
9:13: daisy oneill: u seem really cool make sure u send me ure username so i can send u friend request and if u like my pics maybe we can get to know each a lil more.. that cool?
9:14: Dave Blend: all those privacy issues. that seems like it might be important given your interest in the dirty.
9:14: Dave Blend: you say “cool” a lot. and “u”.
9:14: daisy oneill: Im putting up some more naughty pics I just now took lol i shoulda been single a long time ago
9:14: Dave Blend: why is that funny?
9:14: Dave Blend: do you look funny?
9:14: Dave Blend: are you a clown?
9:14: daisy oneill: well did u make ure profile yet??
9:14: Dave Blend: a naked clown?
9:14: Dave Blend: that’s “well did u make *ur* profile yet??”
9:14: Dave Blend: u are a bad speller
9:14: Dave Blend: i’m sorry. i can’t figure out the profile thing. i shouldn’t have made fun of you for it probably taking you longer than a second to make your profile. it’s really tricky. it could take me all night. yeah, i said “all night”.
9:14: Dave Blend: did you pass out from all the excitement of taking naughty pictures of yourself and then uploading them at superhuman speeds?
9:14: Dave Blend: let me know quick. i need to get a burrito and go watch Castle, only on ABC.
9:14: Dave Blend: okay, well, i guess i’ll see you later. lol. i won’t really see you later. goodbye daisy/angel. keep on blooming/playing your magical angel harp.

‘Tis the Season

christina12xx: 6:50pm: Christmas Holiday Plans?
NeonBodoe: 6:50pm: oh, just being jewish
NeonBodoe: 6:50pm: you can’t just assume things like that about people

christina12xx: 6:50pm: jerking off? lol

christina12xx: 6:50pm: you must live close by? network system found you I live by the school

NeonBodoe: 6:50pm: yes, all jews love christmas because we can jerk off without god judging us
 for once
christina12xx: 6:50pm: I love Christmas

NeonBodoe: 6:51pm: plus it’s easy to travel too

Timing

9:43:07 AM brensheelersays: hey
9:44:33 AM NeonBodoe: not now, i’m hungover
9:44:39 AM brensheelersays: Hey hun.. How are u today? Wanna chat for a IittIe? Im bored and wanted to meet new peopIe
9:45:04 AM NeonBodoe: easy lady
9:45:05 AM NeonBodoe: easy
9:45:14 AM brensheelersays: CooI WeII, my name is Jamie Im from New York.. Can I ask u a question?
9:45:58 AM NeonBodoe: your name was brittany not 24 hours ago
9:46:04 AM NeonBodoe: and your IM name is Bren
9:46:11 AM brensheelersays: Jamie
9:46:31 AM NeonBodoe: Eunice
9:46:43 AM brensheelersays: What kinda girIs u in to? Are u in to BIG TITS or a BIG BOOTY?
9:47:50 AM NeonBodoe: the kind that leave me alone at 9:47am when i’ve been out late drinking the fantastic new spirit Jack Daniels American Honey the night before
9:47:57 AM brensheelersays: IoI.. I have a Iot of both!!  Wanna see? I have some free time now..
9:49:07 AM NeonBodoe: just something to think about, i’d imagine about .0001% of the population is jerking off or preparing to jerk off at this time of day
9:49:18 AM brensheelersays: Ok Iet me set my web cam up and u can watch me shake my booty!! IOI.. brb
9:50:05 AM NeonBodoe: i’m starting to get the feeling that you’re not the best listener
9:50:11 AM brensheelersays: Ok! CIick here [REDACTED] and we’II have a PRIVATE 1on1 chat..There’s a pic of me in there, if u Iike Just accept my invite on the side then register and it’II take u straight to my webcam, I’II be there in a minute..
10:00:54 AM NeonBodoe: if you could just IM me some vicodin, that would be really swell
10:01:04 AM brensheelersays: There is no charge but its gonna ask u for ur credit card info just to verify ur age. Im wearing aImost nothing and I dont want any kids watching me!! IoI..
10:05:25 AM NeonBodoe: i might not be making myself clear
10:05:37 AM brensheelersays: Once u’ve compIeted that, it’II automaticaIIy redirect u to my webcam page.
10:06:28 AM NeonBodoe: look Eunice, i’m going to end this conversation right now and go puke in the dumpster outside the service elevator
10:06:38 AM brensheelersays: nice place..never been ..maybe one day ;P
10:06:59 AM NeonBodoe: i think we both know you’ve been in the dumpster outside the service elevator
10:07:07 AM brensheelersays: uggh no i’m not are u???? lolz
10:07:23 AM NeonBodoe: you’re terrible at reading things
10:07:31 AM brensheelersays: Ok, Im aII set up for u baby III be waiting for u in the site [REDACTED] hurry! My pussy is dripping
10:09:16 AM NeonBodoe: yeah, thinking about giant industrial trash receptacles will do that to a girl
10:09:26 AM brensheelersays: XOXO See u SOON! ::MUAH::
10:09:42 AM NeonBodoe: I hate you.

Therapy

1:47:29 PM brensheelersays: heyaa!
1:48:19 PM NeonBodoe: was that like a karate noise?
1:48:26 PM brensheelersays: for some reason you’re on my buddyIist but i dont remember who you are!  My names brittany, you wouIdn’t happen to remember me wouId you?
1:48:54 PM NeonBodoe: i actually have a photographic memory
1:49:00 PM NeonBodoe: i remember all photographs i’ve seen
1:49:02 PM NeonBodoe: EVER
1:49:06 PM NeonBodoe: but that’s it
1:49:09 PM NeonBodoe: so no, i don’t remember you
1:49:18 PM brensheelersays: I hope I’m not annoying you, 20/f here btw what about you?
1:49:50 PM NeonBodoe: 7/the doctors don’t really know
1:49:57 PM brensheelersays: cooI so whats up? i’m totaIIy bored right now and just got out of the shower. i’m feeIing a bit naughty & have no one to heIp me out with that..
1:50:33 PM NeonBodoe: help you out with what?
1:50:44 PM brensheelersays: I’m about to go on cam wouId you Iike to watch? Maybe seeing my face wiII refresh your memory
1:50:56 PM NeonBodoe: i’ve had to shower by myself since 2, since my parents can’t bear to look at my horrible form
1:51:04 PM brensheelersays: yeah i can be a tease
1:51:06 PM NeonBodoe: like candid camera?
1:51:13 PM brensheelersays: I’m a member of this super excIusive site, that’s just Iike myspace except for aduIts and with cams you can onIy get in if a member sends you an invite. You shouId check it out!
1:51:46 PM NeonBodoe: myspace for adults? you mean friendster?
1:51:54 PM brensheelersays: Just go here [REDACTED] and cIick the Green “Accept invite” Then fiII out the info babe, don’t worry it onIy takes 2 seconds.
1:52:25 PM NeonBodoe: do you juggle or something? what’s this all about?
1:52:33 PM NeonBodoe: a ventriloguist act would be great
1:52:34 PM brensheelersays: Don’t worry, the credit card is used onIy to verify you’re an aduIt!Just read the fine print at the bottom of the page it says “Iive Webcam Chat is FREE onIy if invite was sent by a Premium PrivateCamInvite.com member.”
1:52:38 PM NeonBodoe: marionette maybe
1:52:46 PM NeonBodoe: do you have to be older than 8 for this?
1:52:48 PM NeonBodoe: cause i’m 7
1:52:56 PM brensheelersays: Iet me know when you’re in babe, then i can make a private room for us so you can have me aII to yourseIf
1:52:58 PM NeonBodoe: and three-quarters!
1:53:07 PM brensheelersays: I’m setting up my cam now, Iemme know if you need heIp!
1:53:33 PM NeonBodoe: yeah, i need help determining if i should wear girls or boys clothes EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE
1:53:37 PM NeonBodoe: can you help with that?
1:53:43 PM NeonBodoe: i’d love it if so
1:53:52 PM brensheelersays: okay, I’m turning on my cam.
1:54:42 PM NeonBodoe: look, if you’re doing magic, just say the word
1:54:51 PM brensheelersays: are you ready babe, because i’m ready for you?
1:55:11 PM NeonBodoe: sounds like you’re not sure if you’re ready for me
1:55:19 PM brensheelersays: hurry up, i’m dripping wet for you!
1:55:57 PM NeonBodoe: well, of course you are. you just got out of the shower.

Persistence

1:35:25 PM Cleverchrissie: heya.
1:35:37 PM NeonBodoe: oh, you again
1:35:45 PM Cleverchrissie: hey how are you today?
1:35:58 PM NeonBodoe: i’ve been better
1:36:02 PM NeonBodoe: my cat ate my gerbil
1:36:09 PM Cleverchrissie: i cant remember if we have talked before? 24f here. u?
1:36:19 PM NeonBodoe: oh we’ve talked
1:36:21 PM NeonBodoe: 97m
1:36:26 PM Cleverchrissie: oh… well whats up?
1:36:59 PM NeonBodoe: i was actually just jerking off to some other chick’s IMs, but I’m willing to do the same to yours if you want
1:37:10 PM Cleverchrissie: cool. im so bored. theres nothing to do. any suggestions?
1:37:33 PM NeonBodoe: have you ever seen back to the future II? i’m watching it now
1:37:37 PM NeonBodoe: none of that III bullshit
1:37:39 PM NeonBodoe: II
1:37:42 PM NeonBodoe: 2015!
1:37:46 PM Cleverchrissie: i got a idea. . i want be a stripper. but i dont know if im good enough
1:37:56 PM Cleverchrissie: do you want to watch me strip on cam and tell me if im good enough?
1:39:16 PM NeonBodoe: hmm…it’s very difficult to make it rain, at least really make it count and have all these $2 bills i’ve been saving up float down on you in a beautiful money storm, via webcam
1:39:27 PM Cleverchrissie: ok you got to signup on this site so i can be sure your not a kid
1:39:34 PM Cleverchrissie: is that ok with you babe?
1:39:41 PM NeonBodoe: i’m ninety fucking seven, bitch
1:39:49 PM Cleverchrissie: k babe just go here [REDACTED]
1:40:00 PM Cleverchrissie: then at the top click the goId JOIN FREE button and make a login ok?
1:40:34 PM NeonBodoe: this looks like nikki
1:40:39 PM NeonBodoe: you’re chrissie
1:40:50 PM Cleverchrissie: oh and one more thing. it does ask for a credit card but but it dosent charge the card at all
1:40:59 PM Cleverchrissie: its just to make sure that your over 18 ok?
1:41:01 PM NeonBodoe: which one is your stripper name, and which one is your backup stripper name?
1:41:11 PM Cleverchrissie: k babe well hurry up so we can have some fun.
1:41:16 PM NeonBodoe: i told you, i converted all my holdings to $2 bills
1:41:20 PM NeonBodoe: i have no credit card
1:41:25 PM Cleverchrissie: and if you want to have some naughty fun then just take me in private or tip me some gold.
1:41:52 PM NeonBodoe: shit, i was considering bouillon, too
1:42:02 PM Cleverchrissie: lets talk on the site my aim keeps messing up.
1:42:14 PM NeonBodoe: i told you last time, Adium
1:42:17 PM NeonBodoe: fantastic program
1:42:25 PM NeonBodoe: download that and get back to me, ok?
1:44:54 PM NeonBodoe: i’m gonna get back to this Back to the Future
1:44:59 PM NeonBodoe: oh man, that tiny pizza gets so big in the machine! unreal.
1:45:01 PM NeonBodoe: bye now

The Timeless Art of Seduction

6:59:07 PM Cleverchrissie: hey!
7:22:17 PM NeonBodoe: omg
7:22:22 PM NeonBodoe: hey!
7:22:24 PM Cleverchrissie: Hey what’s up? 23/F here. u?
7:23:55 PM NeonBodoe: is this really happening?
7:24:03 PM Cleverchrissie: Hmm. Have we chatted before?
7:24:25 PM NeonBodoe: well apparently not, or else we’d know everything about each other
7:24:35 PM Cleverchrissie: Oh ok. I wasn’t sure. Anyways… Whats up?
7:26:52 PM NeonBodoe: well, i’ve actually been blowing lines off the back of a rhinoceros for the past 45 minutes
7:26:55 PM NeonBodoe: what about you?
7:27:02 PM Cleverchrissie: Oh Im like sooo bored. Theres nothing to do.
7:27:12 PM NeonBodoe: that’s exactly why i’ve been blowing lines off the back of a rhinoceros for the past 45 minutes
7:27:14 PM Cleverchrissie: Ohhh wait. I got a idea. Have you ever watched a girl strip on cam?
7:27:28 PM Cleverchrissie: Welllllll…. Do you wanna watch me strip on cam?
7:27:34 PM NeonBodoe: that sounds great, but no way my dick works after all these lines
7:27:37 PM NeonBodoe: this is really good coke
7:27:50 PM Cleverchrissie: Yeah? Ok you have to signup through this website that my cam is linked trhough so i cant be recorded ok?
7:27:59 PM Cleverchrissie: It only takes a second babe and its free. k?
7:28:07 PM NeonBodoe: i can barely feel my brain right now
7:28:18 PM Cleverchrissie: [REDACTED] go there then at the top click on the goId JOlN FREE button ok?
7:28:33 PM NeonBodoe: FREE?!?!
7:28:44 PM Cleverchrissie: Also it does ask for a credit card when you signup. But DONT worry
7:28:52 PM NeonBodoe: i’m worried
7:28:58 PM Cleverchrissie: It dosent charge the card at all. Not even a penny. Its just to make sure your over 18. k?
7:29:06 PM NeonBodoe: i’m like 200 
7:29:07 PM NeonBodoe: do you ever listen to annie lennox?
7:29:21 PM Cleverchrissie: K babe well hurry up. When you get logged in then view my cam and we can have some fun  
7:29:36 PM Cleverchrissie: I also have some toys ;-X but you have to tip me some gold or take me in private to see those.
7:29:54 PM Ben Robinson: well, i’m gonna go jerk off to Zardoz actually, check you later
7:29:56 PM NeonBodoe: thanks though!
7:30:03 PM Cleverchrissie: Hey lets talk on there my aim is messing up.
7:31:17 PM NeonBodoe: you should get adium, it’s super-effective and has all sorts of cool features